I Need You
by Loki Yamimegami
Summary: Jimmy and Cindy are teens. Cindy's going out with Nick, Jimmy's left bitter. Soon Jimmy's world begins to fall apart and he has no one to turn to except... RR. Excuse Grammar, Language, sexual content and later violence. CH 5 UP! ANGSTY!
1. Hard News, Wild Night

This is my first fic outside anime or comic books or games. Be easy. This is very ansgt and romancy, rated R. Urm, that about it. It takes place in the future of Jmimmy Nuetron. He has a sister, he's in high school... Read to find out more! INCOMPLETE!   
James sat in the back of the class, resting his head in his cupped hands. AP Chemistry was the perfect period to catch up on lost sleep since the teenage genius knew everything there was about chemicals and such. He exhaled a soft breath. James had turned 16 last month. Retroville had changed a lot. A few buildings were added and a mall was being built. Sheen was no longer obsessed with Ultralord ever since they cancelled it but he still collected the merchandise. Carl moved away in Junior High which was a big blow to Jimmy.   
  
"Hey Queer-tron the period's over!" came her firm voice. Cindy's voice evolved from a high pitched squeak to a seductive hum. James openned his sapphire eyes and glared at her.   
  
"I know that Bitch-tex." he snapped. She glared her fiery emerald eyes. A waterfall of gold cascaded from her head past her shoulders. James appreciated a beautiful thing when he saw ne and Cindy was beautiful. But she was also a pain in his ass. So, considering that, he would never let her know that HE knew she was pretty. He got up, snatched up his bag and headed out the classroom. He bumped into Nick. He grabbed his collar to keep him from falling. James was still shorter then Nick by at most a foot. James stepped back and dusted his shirt, scowling silently.   
  
"Yo, Nuetron, watch it!"  
  
"Nickie!" squealed Cindy from behind and threw her arms around Nick. Jimmy almost threw up. Sheen sighed.   
  
"Let's go before they start having sex in the middle of the hall. Cindy being the SLUT that she is..." James laughed as Cindy sneered.   
  
"Good one Sheen." James said and two pounded fists.   
  
" I know." he said proudly. The two made it out of the High School to Jame's cruddy old Mazda. He openned the driver's side. "So Jim, what are you doing this Spring break?"  
  
"I don't know yet. I have to get home. My mom has a hospital appointment so I have to watch Clary." Clarabelle Helena Neutron was Jimmy's little sister at age five. She was pretty cool for a girl. She was interested in what Jimmy did and he did his best to be a good big brother.   
  
"Can I get a ride?" Sheen put on the biggest pathetic smile he could muster. James chuckled and unlocked the passenger side door.   
  
"Hurry up."  
  
- - -   
  
"Jimmy! Jimmy!" the five-year-old called frantically. She grabbed her elder brother's hand and tugged. "Look!" He followed her as she dragged him from his lab to the front porch. She pointed at Goddard who was sprawled on the floor, deactivated. James coughed and picked up his old friend.   
  
"What happened!" he looked at Clarabelle who was obvisiously tormenting herself. She was teary eyed and shaking.   
  
"I-... all I did was-" she sniffled. "Play tea pawty and I- I- .... I dwopped my cup on him!" she threw herself at Jimmy, crying hysterically. "I'm sowy Jimmy!" she cried heavily. James held his little sister. He frowned.   
  
"It's ok... I can fix him. He'll be ok."  
  
"I kiwed Goddawd!" she shrieked, her eyes all puffy and tear stains runing down her cheeks. James smiled and moved the robotic dog to the side and carried his little sister in his arms. He Placed he on his lap.   
  
"No you didn't, Clare. He just automatically turned off to prevent anything dangerous from happening. That's all. I can fix it. I can fix anything." Care sniffled and looked up with her big green eyes, like their mother's. he wiped her cheek. "Now stop crying Clare. You told me the truth and as soon as possible which was a good thing." He hugged her. "You did a good thing." She smiled.   
  
"My Bwoder can fix anything." she murmured into his chest. James smiled and stood up, carrying her on his right hip, holding her with his right arm. He picked Goddard up with his left.   
  
"Wow James." came a familiar voice. Jimmy winced and turned to see Cindy walking toward his porch. "I never knew you were so good iwth kids." She smiled sweetly at Claracelle. He pulled the girl away from CIndy.   
  
"Well there's a lot you don't know about me Cindy. But I do know enough about you to know that I don't your influence on MY sister." He walked past Cindy and toward his lab inside the shed. When he had placed Clare on the ground, a text hit him in the head. He growled and turned to shout at Cindy. He frowned when he saw a lot of hurt in her eyes. He looked down at Clarabelle who looked confused. He looked back at Cindy. "I'm sorry, okay?" he snapped. "Happy? Now don't throw anymore books at me." He picked up the text book and brought it back to Cindy.   
  
She snatched it. "You're a bastard, you know that?"  
  
"You're a slut. I know that."  
  
She pulled her hand back to slap him for what would have been the thousandth time. Clarabelle ran up and squealed. "Mami's home! Mami!" she ran to teh driveway where James's mom and Dad pulled up. Cindy and James glared at each other and approached the car. Cindy put on her fakest facade of the innocent girl. Mrs. Nuetron cam eout of the car. she was pale and looked like the world just crumbled. Mr. Nuetron looked depressed and lost. A pang of fear struck Jimmy.   
  
"Mom what's wrong?"  
  
She looked up at Jimmy as her dry pink eyes renewed with tears. She hugged her son and whispered in his ear. "I could have cancer." Cindy gasped. Jimmy froze. She stepped back and looked into James's eyes. "They need to run some more tests." She trembled but tried hard to smile. "It'll be okay."   
  
Ciny looked at Jimmy. Clarabelle came up, confused again. "Is Mami ok?" she asked.   
  
Cindy whsipered more so to Jimmy then Mrs. Nuetron. "I'm sorry." He pulled away from them and ran to his car, unlocked it and drove off. He wasn't sure when the tears had begun to fall but he knew he couldn't stop them. 'There must be something I can do... I'm a genius. I should be able to do SOMETHING'   
  
- - -   
  
Cindy stayed with the Nuetron family that evening. James hadn't returned yet when she was tucking in Clarabelle. Goddard was back online thanks to some quick thinking on Cindy's behalf. the metallic dog was lying beside Clare. "Where's Jimmy?"  
  
"I don't know sweety." Ciny whispered, stroking the young girl's face.   
  
"Who awe you?" the youn girl asked, looked up at the blonde.   
  
"A friend of your brother's... I think." Cindy replied uncertaintly. She bit her lip.   
  
"You'we nice. I like you. Can you come over a lot mowe?" asked the sweet little girl. Cindy's eyes melted with affection.   
  
"I'd like to but it all depends on your brother." Cindy remembered James's harsh words earlier. Why had he hated her so much? When had he really begun to dislike her as much as he did now? He didn't before. Not like that.   
  
"Why did he call you that nasty word?"  
  
Cindy kissed Clarabelle's forehead. "Goodnight Clare." I wish I knew.   
  
"Cindy?"   
  
"Yes."  
  
"What's wrong with my mami? Is she gonna be sick fow long?"  
  
"Yes, Clare. So you have to be on your best behavior for your mother, okay?" Cindy said. "So sleep, okay?"  
  
"Cindy?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I nevew had a sister before... can you be my sister?"  
  
"Goodnight Clarabelle." Cindy said, closing the door. She walked over to Jimmy's room and openned it. He was still gone. she knew it. She came in and looked around. He had all these scientific posters of the universe and stuff. But this one poster on his door made her heart lurch and her eyes tear. 'Love is giving and not always receiving.' read across the top in script. In a print font it read. 'Love is as good as it is bad.' And scribled along the bottom it read 'Love can sometimes be hatred and never knowing until its too late.' he had circled each one. She touched the poster and closed her eyes.   
  
Jimmy and Cindy used to have a friendship. Sure they were rivals but there was a friendship underneath it. When had it disappeared? Where had it gone? Why did it disappear? She sat and Jimmy's bed and laid on it, her face in his pillow, inhaling the scent of hair gel and shampoo. there was even a faint scent of chemicals. She frowned as her eyes teared. Mrs. Nuetron seemed so frail and weak and yet she played off as if everything was normal. She pretended as if Jimmy was just out with Sheen. She hugged the pillow. To be In Jimmy's position right now... she wondered where he was. She closed her eyes again and suddenly felt tired. The clock beside Jimmy's bed read 11:43.   
  
- - -   
  
The door slammed closed behind Jimmy as he threw his jacket to the side. The powerful smell of alchohol emitted from His father who was slumed on the couch. Jimmy had drunk a little to. But not as much as his Dad did. He took the bottle from his hand and drained it in the sink. It was 2 in the morning. James braced himself against the sink. Exhaustion, sorrow and being drunk seized him. He sighed and walked up stairs to his room. He grumbled and threw off his shirt and pants. He reached for his blanket but found a handful of silkiness. He groped for the light and turned it on.   
  
He released CIndy's hair and stepped back. Why was she here? She groaned, wincing against the light and sat up. Jimmy had an urge to throw something at her. She blinked at looked at him. she gasped and stood up. "Oh my god I'm so sorry! I didn'-" she saw the time and frowned. And then she smelled the alcohol. She looked at Jimmy sympathetically. "You were drinking? " she asked. James grabbed his pants again.   
  
"Get out of my room. Get out of my house." he snapped. That didn't phase her. Her milky voice was still thick with concern and sympathy.   
  
"James... I know you're going through a lot but drinking's not the answer." she said, placing her hand on his shoulder. he pulled away.   
  
"Stop being the bleeding heart and leave me alone." he said again. "I don't need any of your fucking pity. I'M not the one with cancer." He said. He had actually spent most of the night and early morning doing doing research on cancer. He'd be damned if he couldn't find a cure. then during about the last hour he stayed at a bar.   
  
"Jimmy!" she exclaimed. she sat down and crossed her hand across her perfectly developed chest. "Why is it that you're so damn mean to me! why do you hate me!"  
  
"I should be asking you." he hissed. He put his shirt back on and left his room. Cindy Vortex was nothing less then persisstant. If not stubborn. Jimmay sulked to his lab, her at his heels.   
  
"What is that suppose to mean?"  
  
"Shouldn't you be giving your Nickie a blow job by now." She froze in the middle of the yard. James regretted it immediately. He turned and faced her, not sure what to say now. Her eyes teared and her fists were clenched. soon one of those fists struck his cheek.   
  
"That's it isn't it. You believe that stupid rumor don't you."  
  
"No, Cindy, I don't. But I like to use it against you for what you DID do."   
  
"What is it damn it! What did I do!"   
  
Jimmy glared at her. He was silent as he entered his lab. She followed of course. He removed his shirt again and faced her. "You have been after Nick for how long?" he asked. She sighed and combed her fingers through her hair.   
  
"Since third grade I think?"   
  
"When did he first notice you?"  
  
"i don't know." she murmured glaring at him.   
  
"A year ago starting friday. The first time you came to school with breast!" She gasped and almost smacked him but froze. He stepped really close to her. "I have realized how beautiful you are... I have cared for you since before I even knew I liked girls." She clenched her jaw and looked away.   
  
"James it doesn't... Look what's between me and Nick-" Jimmy lifted her face and looked into her eyes. A fiery desire ignited in his eyes. Her breath was caught.   
  
"You should have left when I told you to." Before she could protest his lips were on hers. At first the kiss was forceful but soon his tongue was gently messaging her lips, urging her to allow him access. She openned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and cupping the back of his head. The bittersweet kiss sent a mixture of strange emotions through them both. Jimmy wasn't sure what had taken over him. Was it the alcohol still in his system? 'Damn it Jim this is not one of those times to analyze the situation! Just do it.' screamed his hormones.   
  
He pulled back, his eyes closed. He couldn't. He stepped back, their eyes locked on each other. Cindy's eyes were pleading. He shook his head. "As much as I need it... I can't. I can't take advanatge of you. Please, Cindy, leave." She reached out and touched his face.  
  
"No." she pulled him close and closed her eyes. "I want this to." she whispered.   
  
"Why?" he murmured into her hair. She kissed his jaw.   
  
"Because I deserve it." she smirked and looked into his eyes. "I deserve someone who cares for me and not my looks. ANd... maybe its because I... care about you to."   
  
"Cindy..." he breathed and reached up to her clip. He released her hair. "I like your hair best loose." She smiled and stroked his face. His lips smoothed over hers and their tongues clashed. He loved how she tasted. He was amazed at himself. He held her waist. Her soft hands rested on the back of his neck, sending chills through his being. His hands slid down her sides and then up her theighs, sliding up her skirt. He trailed from her lips to her neck. He began to wonder if Nick had gone this far with her. 'Well then you'll just have to do better.' He pulled back and picked her up. He stepped on a button and suddenly a bed came out from the wall. Cindy giggled into the crook of his neck.   
  
"Jimmy you're a nut."  
  
"Yeah well that's what they say about all geniuses." he replied with a smirk.   
  
"I love it." she murmured and he laid her down. He looked down at her face and everything around him disappeared. All of his problems, all of his worries were gone. And he was so grateful of that to her. This had to be the best for her. He had to make it so. All logic and common sense was lost in the moment. Only hormones and emotions, pure raw fiery passion were left.   
  
She clutched at him, urged for more. And he gave. But she returned. As much pleasure as he tried to giev her she returned ten fold. He wondered if she was doing it on purpose but that didn't matter. only her. Her body, her soul, joining with his. It was sweet rature, joyous exstacy. 


	2. Attempt at Return to Normalcy

You read chapter one, which had a mil typos and bad grammar. Now, finally, for chapter 2. All I can do is this though: *Drops to her knees, eyes wide* FORGIVE ME! I DIDN'T MEAN TO LEAVE IT LIKE THIS FOR SO LONG! Stuff came up. Im surprised at how many good reveiws and little to no flames Ive received. ^^ *Murmurs something about high school* Enjoy!  
  
- - -  
  
The ruby red numbers furiously glowed against the black screen of James's console. They read 6:45. At 6:50, an alarm went off. James shot up in the bed like a rocket and yelled. "Abort mission" but realized he wasn't in his room. The brunette grumbled and went to the console to turn off the automatic alarm. He stretched and yawned, blinking many times, looking rather dumbly, she observed. Cindy was sitting in a chair, a blanket wrapped around her lithe form. She looked over the man of choice and bit her lip.  
  
"Jimmy?" she whispered. James jumped and faced her, face pale and stunned.  
  
"Wha-? Y-... you're here. That means... it wasn't a dream?" he asked in awe. Hangovers were a pain to get through. He had to be delusional. If he wasn't then he might have just made the biggest mistake in his life. He looked down and screamed, jumping into the bed, grabbing the pillow and covering his pelvic area. That part of his body was more then ready to face the day. His mind was still trying to catch up.  
  
Cindy stifled a laugh and nodded. "It wasn't a dream. Though I'm sure it feels like it to you." She stood up, the blanket expertly wrapped like an elegant toga. Jimmy tilted his head and admired her beauty. Her hair was loose and in luxurious silk waves. Her emerald eyes sparkled in a glassy way with remnants of slumber. Her body was perfectly curved and he wasn't the least bit shamed of having had her. Until he remembered why...  
  
"Cindy I-" She raised her hand.  
  
"Don't flatter yourself sci-fi boy. I was not a virgin. I did have sex once with Nick" She sighed. "I refuse to go any further about it." She crossed her arms across her chest, her trademark position. James frowned as his jaw clamped together. She nibbled on her lip and looked away. "I understand you had a rough day yesterday so I'd also understand if alcohol and a need to escape reality lead you to... well, what happened." she said, shifting her weight. Guilt poured in Jimmy with realization.  
  
"Cind-"  
  
"Hold up, James, I'm making this easier for you. I have a position in the delicate cloth that is High School Society and that's on Nick's right arm." She frowned as she spoke, disgusting herself with her own excuse. She was afraid, plain and simple. This couldn't happen with the boy across the street.  
  
Even if by his performance earlier that morning meant he was no longer a boy. And what if it escalated even more? At least what she had with Nick wasn't a delusion; it was a mutual relationship of basic facts, nothing last forever and emotions as well as hormones complicate things. No strings attached. That was the deal. High School was only four years, two in her standing position. The one time with Nick meant as little as math to her. "Once I leave this lab, this never happened." she murmured. She looked down, her crossed arms tightening around her, bracing her for the acceptance. Even more if he didn't accept it.  
  
What came was worse. A deafening silence consumed them. They were, literally, at a stand still. She looked at him, dumb founded. He stared at her. The hands clamping at the pillow for coverage was now clinging for dear sanity. He had gone sickeningly pale and was shaking. Cindy felt her breathing get shallow and tears blurred her vision. "JAMES!" she shrieked and he jumped. "Speak to me!" she pleaded softer. He frowned and stared at her.  
  
"No." he sputtered. He shook his head. "No. Last night in my eyes wasn't a mistake. I did the one thing I never knew I always wanted to do. I thought I finally made you love me, Cindy... for all that I was. The same as I love you. But... but I was wrong. I should have known better but I didn't." he got up and grabbed his boxers. "Now, now you can leave," he said with an oddly deep shaking voice.  
  
Cindy stared at him, tears falling. He went to the console and opened a file on cancer and the different types there were. She watched the young genius seated before the diluted chance of saving his mother. She swallowed and numbly changed into her clothes, temporarily distracted at how scattered they were. She faced him and sighed when she was completely clothed. She touched his shoulder with shaky manicured fingers and said the only words that could leave her mouth. "I'm sorry." With that she walked out of the lab, leaving him alone.  
  
Both had to prepare for school and fix up a mask of composure and normality. Even if inside they were tearing themselves apart.  
  
- - -  
  
Cindy Vortex, the deliciously gorgeous princess of Retroville. With her sultry body and seductive ways she had gained the envy of freshmen and seniors alike. She stalked the halls in white strapy heels with elegance. Her posture as if she owned the halls. Her emerald eyes usually holding a glint of mischief and a twinkle of a temptress. A white hair clip clamped the right side of her perfectly pale blonde hair up. Her hair straightened, it fell lusciously to her cleavage and rested on it. She wore a white tube top with a skintight white jacket over it. Her black hip hugging pants were leather and took away the angelic glamour she had.  
  
The immaculate look spared by the inky black pants. James was enwrapped with how beautiful she looked. And he was heart broken at how aloof and carefree she seemed, her exquisitely make upped faced denying all chances of regret and resentfulness. James wore a flannel shirt, his hair cut from the dopey whip cream hair do he had as a kid and now spiked. His jeans were worn and rugged. Nick began his entrance and James sulked, slamming his head against his closed locker and groaning painfully.  
  
Sheen looked at him in confusion. Sheen had capabilities of being as cool and sleek as Nick with his bronze complexion and silky black hair. But his dressed-down appearance and carefree attitude didn't seem as attracting as Nick's I-own-the-world complex. He and Libby had a quick affair the previous month but she insisted on seeing new people and Sheen didn't argue. He figured she had better guys to seduce with her beautifully relaxed red highlighted black hair and full lips. Her body was nothing to complain about. He knew he wouldn't have her long. But hope was blind. "Yo, Jay, what's wrong?"  
  
"My world as I know it has met Armageddon, my friend." He drawled depressingly as a reply. Sheen raised his brows. In pure concern of his only friend he questioned him.  
  
"What happened Jimmy?"  
  
"My mother has cancer, I will die a lonely death, my sister will be left to face the world with an idiot drunken father..." he replied with a sigh and leaned his back against the locker. Now the two ideal people of Retro High stood side by side. Nick's arms were possessively around Cindy's bared waist. James shook his head. "Sheen, I'm a genius. I should be able to cure anything."  
  
"I thought Biology wasn't your major, Jim. I thought you were more into chemistry and physics and stuff like that." Sheen offered softly. Soon a dark chocolate colored Libby approached Jimmy and sympathetically held his shoulder.  
  
"You all right Jim?" she asked with her thick concerned voice. Libby might have been Cindy's best friend but caste never separated her during times of extreme joy or sorrow for one of her elementary buds. She wore a black skirt and a purple blouse.  
  
"I will be, Lib." he offered with a half smile. She hugged him and waved sheepishly at Sheen as she returned to the group with Cindy and Nick. As Jimmy made his way to the library for lunch, he caught Cindy looking over at him with a tormented look in her face. He looked away, knowing he looked pathetic enough as it was. Just like high School to make a complicated situation more unbearable then it usually was.  
  
- - -  
  
Cindy faked a smile at Nick and pushed away. "I left something in the lunch room. I'll be back." she walked away and half-walked toward the Library. She stepped in as silently as she could and slowly entered. She saw how pained Jimmy looked. She felt utterly tormented and selfish. She didn't know what she was going to say or do. All she knew was that she was grateful not many people came to the useless library of Retro high.  
  
She found Jimmy hidden of in the resource section, in a corner, a book on his lap and a notebook on the chair beside him. His right hand was scribbling aimlessly as he read. Cindy took in a deep breath and twisted her left hand in her right. She cleared her throat. Jimmy's head shot up and his deep sapphire blue eyes stared at her. Then his brows lowered and met over his nose and his jaw closed, his lips forming a pale firm line. His eyes went from surprised to annoyed and shielded. The metamorphosis awed Cindy but she wasn't shaken. "Jim?' she whispered. He raised an eyebrow; so to say 'What do you want?' In a gesture of disinterest.  
  
Cindy took a deep breath and stepped closer then crouched before him. "Jimmy" she began but he cut her of.  
  
"Vortex, I honestly see no logical reason for your presence. Unlike you, I don't live in a perfect world where being popular is enough to give me happiness. I have to work for mine which includes a healthy mother." he whispered venomously as his eyes returned to his text. Cindy winced and knew she deserved that. None of it was a lie. "And if guilt and/or pity is the only reason you can decipher then go now. I don't need it from you."  
  
She realized her hand shook and she looked down. "James, I'm not here out of pity or guilt. I'm here as a friend. I don't want to see you in pain." she looked at him. "We used to be friends, remember? Always there when it counted. Tell me you remember those days." She said softly.  
  
" I remember." he replied coldly but not loud enough to be reprimanded. She placed her hand on his knee. He stood up abruptly, startling both him and the librarian who heard the thump of his heavy text fall, and the one caused by Cindy falling back. "I also remember what you are." he said sourly, his fist clenched around the pencil that snapped in his hand. She watched him from the floor, her mouth a gape, and her eyes tearing with shock and anger as well as humiliation. He released his fist and extended a hand to her, his face reluctant but eyes apologetic. She reached timidly for it and he lifted her. He led her to the far end and more secluded section of the library, hidden mostly by the bookshelves parallel to the wall rather then perpendicular. He pulled her behind a shelf and looked at her.  
  
"Why are you here, Cindy?" he pleaded. She looked at him and the closure only forced her to remember what she swore didn't happened. She bit her glossed lip.  
  
"I'm worried about you," she whispered. "That's all." She looked down. A warm hand held her cheek and ran through her hair. She looked up at Jimmy who was looking at her hair as his hand found the clip and removed it. He placed it in the palm of her hand. She caught her breath. His hand held hers, closed over the clip. The other was stroking her other cheek.  
  
"Cindy, please don't play games with me." He whispered. She clamped her jaw. "What's going on between us?" he asked. He had pinned her. Emotionally as well as physically. She felt defeated and oddly manipulated.  
  
"N- nothing," she stammered. He pressed closer to her, their chests brushing against each other when deep breaths were taken. She nearly whimpered. He wasn't taking that as an answer. "James I told you, nothing can happen." she pleaded in a soft barely audible moan.  
  
"But something did, Cindy, and as much as you'd wish it didn't happen, you know as well as I do that it wasn't 'nothing'." She felt herself repressing to her child hood. Jealous and angry with Jimmy, always right, always prominent... and in many senses even dominant. That he was now. Dominant and he used it to his advantage. He wanted answers and wouldn't leave her until they were his. Cindy felt the heat of his hands on hers.  
  
"It was a fling." she offered. "An uncontrolled hormone-driven fling!" she said a little loudly. Jimmy looked at her with a deadly glare. She shuddered and suddenly was chilled by the icy blue of his eyes.  
  
"Cindy." He breathed it. Her own name brushed across her cheek, leaving in its departure a tingling sensation.  
  
She gave in and leaned into him, her lips to his ears. "A terribly powerful desire I gave in to after too many years of fantasy." Her hands ran up his arms and clamped on the back of his neck. "An admittance of something I've struggled for years to deny." His lips were painfully close to her neck as he whispered a reply.  
  
"And what did you admit Cindy... what desire was that?"  
  
"That I am yours." she whispered, defeated. His lips pressed against her neck and she bit down into her lip. The kiss traced up her neck to her jaw. She pulled back just enough so that their lips could meet and they kissed. He held one arm around her more so protectively then possessively. The other cupped delicately upon the back of her head. The kiss was sweet and delicate and she savored it. He pulled back from her and heaved, both trying to feed oxygen starved lungs, taken aghast at what had occurred. Now even more confusion and questions set in. How could they face the rest of the day like this?  
  
- - -  
  
Nee-ner nee-ner neeeee-ner! What do you think? I hope I wrote it well. I know its more then beyond mature compared to the series but my mind drifts to places like these. ^^ Don't be afraid to send me ideas. Usually I don't update for dreaded writer's block. I'll try my best to be more consistent. 


	3. Complications

Ok, here's three. I kno it took forever but a had a major block! I mean, it's really REALLY hard to think of Jimmy and Cindy as grown up.  
  
I want to thank all of my reviewers, they kept me from stopping!!! I promise to end this fic with a good bang ((no this isnt the last chpt!!)) Thank you, all of you, you keep me going!!!  
  
For the sparse flamers, lucky me, you make me happy that you'd waste time venting at me. At least you read the fic and it must be good enough if you read it, right? ;)  
  
And here's the continuation?  
  
Disclaimer: DDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH!!  
  
----  
  
James was confused after the final bell rang. Cindy and him barely had the same classes. The last period class was torture for them both.  
  
James was nervous. So far, it seemed no body had seen them during their impulsive burst of passion in the library.  
  
But how would he know? He combed his fingers through spiky brown hair. He had to keep focus. He looked up on his way to his old car. His lips turned into a smile involuntarily. Cindy was sitting on the hood of the car, sucking a lollipop, eyes sparkling at him.  
  
They both had experienced an epiphany of lust together.   
  
Twice.   
  
It was a deep set hunger, a near necessity to feed off each other. His insides churned and he knew that she saw it. And he was relieved to see the same in her. He hoped it wasn't an illusion but it was there. That fire in her eyes, her beautiful emerald eyes.   
  
He couldn't control his actions. He combed his fingers into her hair and pulled her into a deep lip-locking kiss. She groaned into him, lollipop falling from her fingers and onto the ground, forgotten. What she tasted in his mouth was far sweeter.   
  
They pulled back and breathed heavily. "Cind-"  
  
"I'm breaking up with Nick, tonight." she murmured. Jimmy choked and coughed. Cindy smiled and traced his jaw. "Don't get too happy?"  
  
"Really? For me?" James stammered, confused and happy all at once. She nodded, a gleam to her face.   
  
"I know you can make me happy, Jimmy!" she nuzzled into his chest, sliding off the car. He wrapped his arms around her, shocked.   
  
Wait. Him? Make her happy? He frowned. He liked her. A lot. Hell, he loved her. She was gorgeous and smart. But a relationship?  
  
Cindy felt the stiffness in Jame's muscles. She pulled back, and looked at him with a confused look in her eyes. "What's wrong?"  
  
He met her eyes. God she was perfect.   
  
He didn't deserve her beauty. He looked away. "Cindy... I'm not... I'm not worth-" he tried but her fingers pressed against his lips.  
  
"I can decided for myself who's worthy or not." He stepped back.  
  
"Cindy, listen, hold off the Nick thing. Just... until you're sure, ok?" Cindy furrowed her brows.   
  
"James, I'm no slut. I don't want to be with him AND you. " She shook her head, stepping back.   
  
James suddenly felt overly cautious. Anyone could hear. He opened the passenger door. "Get in. We'll talk on the way home."   
  
She scoffed and threw herself in. He sighed and slammed the door. Great. See? This was why they couldn't be together. They argued too much! How could they undo years of rivalry and hatred in two moments of physical lust? This just... didn't feel right.   
  
And plus, she was distracting. He hadn't acknowledged it yet but she already made him forget about his mother. He couldn't afford that. He needed to save her before...  
  
But he was here and now. And all he could think about was making this less... complicated. "Cynthia-"  
  
"Don't you Cynthia me, Neutron." she scowled, a pigment of the old Cindy he knew burning in each word.   
  
"See?" he scowled. "That's why? You and I have always, I mean always hated-"  
  
"I never hated you." Cindy said softly. Silence fell. James parked the car in front of Cindy's. "I-.... you said you loved me."  
  
Damn it. Did he? He wished he hadn't. "Well..." he began.  
  
She turned at him, aghast. "Don't you.... of my GOD!" she exclaimed, "You said-... you bastard, you sniveling low-life cur!" she snapped.   
  
James glared at her. "That, Cindy, is my point." he snapped back. the two had a different fire burning in their eyes,a familiar fire that always erupted between them.  
  
She scoffed, tears falling. Silence fell. God he hated silence.  
  
"Cindy....." he said slowly. He turned to her. She met his eyes, hurt evident in them. He exhaled. "I-... I can't-" he took a deep breath. "I have too much going on right now. I can't-" he tried but Cindy shook her head.   
  
"I don't want to hear it." She opened the door and left. jimmy cursed and hit the wheel, accidently honking the horn.   
  
He forgot to pick up Clara.  
  
- - -   
  
The dinner table was silent. Judy was pale but forced a smile as clara ate up her peas. Hugh seemed lost and confused as he stared at his glass. Jimmy's mind was preoccupied with Cindy.   
  
Judy cleared her throat. "So, James, how was school?"  
  
"Humph." he murmured as he shrugged. Clarabelle frowned.   
  
"Cindy from across the street was 'spose to come over today and play dolls with me. i guess she forgot." she said disappointedly. Jimmy winced. She probably forgot because of him.   
  
No one replied. Clarabelle squirmed. "Mommy, why are you sick?" she asked softly. Judy dropped her spoon and Hugh looked over to the girl.   
  
James couldn't take it. He had to get out. He got up abruptly and left the house, hearing the sobs of his mother and the startled gasp of his sister follow after him.   
  
It was a cold night. A beautifully clear and wonderful night. And yet so much was wrong.   
  
He wished he had allowed Cindy to break up with Nick so that they could be happy but...  
  
But he didn't have the right to be happy! There was his mother's cancer, His father's new taste for alcohol and the innocent naivetŽ of his baby sister. Cindy was so intoxicating it was distracting. He couldn't afford distractions... so he panicked.   
  
He looked over to Cindy's house. There were no cars in the driveway. But the light in her room was on. He wanted to go over to her house... he wanted to apologize and tell her he wanted to be with her. He wanted too much he wasn't entitled to.   
  
But damn did he want her bad. He got to his car and opened the door.   
  
His father wasn't the only one with a new found desire for alcohol. James drove away from both the home he found falling apart and the dominion of the center of his desires.   
  
If he could only clear his mind.... He could return to what's important. He could focus on finding a cure for his mother.   
  
He arrived at the bar. He had saved Retroville so many times that this place trusted him when he said the drinks weren't for him. Idiots. He bought two six-packs and left. He drove to the park and found a little spot surrounded by shrubbery under the shade of a healthy oak. Traces of his last drinking binge could still be found.   
  
He slumped down against the tree. Just a couple of beers should do...  
  
- - -  
  
"Cindy, you have to tell me what's wrong!" Libby demanded. Libby's red streaked braids were pulled back in a ponytail. She wore a black tank top and faded hip-huggers. Cindy was just in an oversized T-shirt and shorts.  
  
Cindy wiped her cheeks. "Nothing, forget it. i-... I'm fine." she said, trying to convince her best friend. The cocoa skinned girl sat on the blonde's bed. She looked at her sympathetically. Cindy walked to the window. Jimmy's car was missing. Hugh was on the porch, nursing a bottle of beer in one hand and the other cradling his sobbing face. Clara's room was dark and Judy was probably in her room, crying as well.   
  
Cindy was so stupid! How could she be so selfish? She felt guilty for having pushed a relationship upon James then.   
  
She took a deep breath. But he said he loved her. she believed him. and she loved him. So why couldn't they be together?  
  
"Is it Nick?"  
  
"No... no not at all." she shrugged.   
  
"'Cause if he's pressuring you again, i'll go black on his ass and teach him a lesson!!" snapped Libby as she walked to her best friend. Cindy laughed hollowly.  
  
"Don't worry, Libs. It's just... the Neutrons."  
  
"Oh..." Libby whispered and frowned. "Yes, it is sad. The house is falling apart over there isn't it?" Libby asked as she looked out the window as well. Cindy nodded. She turned to her friend.   
  
"Hey, I'm exhausted." she murmured. Libby stepped away from the window and walked over to the chair where her jacket was.  
  
"Yeah me to. I'll go home. Call me before you pick me up tomorrow!" Cindy nodded as Libby left.   
  
Cindy sat on her bed and hugged her pillow. What could she do? She hoped there was something she could do.   
  
She felt disgusted with herself. She slept with him without...  
  
But it wasn't her fault! He had so much on his plate... She lifted her head. He needed a shoulder to cry on... she provided it and more.   
  
And for a few moments he was happy. He had forgotten his pain. She sighed. she'd give him space. For now they needed to breathe. To rethink what happened and what they meant to each other.  
  
Just as she had resolved herself and prepared to turn in for the night, she heard a knock on her door. She checked the time. It was nearly one in the morning. Her parents were in the Bahamas for four weeks.   
  
She left her room and walked down stairs. She opened the door to see Jimmy. She froze. He was slouched, his eyes blood shot and cheeks tear stained. "Cindy..." he slurred.  
  
"J-" before she could ask, his lips crashed into hers. She groaned and stumbled back. He moved with her and kicked the door closed.   
  
She pushed him back. "What the hell?!" she snapped. He stared at her, heaving. "What do you think I am?"  
  
"I-.." he ran his fingers nervously through his hair then reached to garb her. "I need you, Cindy..." he murmured into her neck. "I need this... I need help..." he pleaded as his fingers kneaded into her sides. She whimpered.   
  
"James, I can't-"  
  
"Please... I can fix this, I can fix us... I promise. What I said before, I didn't... I was just, I AM afraid." Jimmy stammered. Cindy stared at him as he went on. "Cindy... I do love you... so much... but I'm afraid to be with you. You... you make me... happy. You make me forget... but I can't forgot, I have no right to be happy when-"  
  
"Sh." she whispered, tears falling down her cheeks. She pressed her fingers to his lips. "It's ok... i under stand."  
  
She understood that he needed her now in the same way he did their first time. She pressed her lips to his. She'd give herself willingly then. He did love her, she believed it with all her might. And she knew he would fix them. But things were so complicated...  
  
She pushed all thoughts from her mind as he pressed her against the wall. He pulled back a little. "I'm sorry..."   
  
She nodded as he lifted her shirt. He was gentle with her, a little clumsy but gentle. Sensations ran through her and reality faded away. All she remembered was ecstasy... completion. All she wanted to know was now.. and him. The rest of the world stood still at the wake of their lust.  
  
- - -   
  
End!   
  
Well I hope that satisfies you guys!!! I'll try to update ASAP!!! Just had a lot of personal issues to deal with! ;)   
  
What will happen now? hm... I'll get back to you on that - 


	4. And The Gates Of Hell Opened

Here's four!!! Didn't expect it did you? But here it is, very quickly if i might add. I think it's one of my better chpts but there's still the rest of the story to go.   
  
Well, Cindy n Jimmy did it again. What happens now?  
  
What about his mom?   
  
And what about Nick?  
  
Read and find out... well, two out of three is enough right? :D   
  
Disclaimer: Duh.   
  
- - -   
  
Cindy woke up the next morning the same she had the first time. She felt surreal and content. She turned over to look at the sleeping Jimmy and placed a hand on his bare chest. She traced the middle of his abdomen up to the nape of his neck and down again.   
  
This caused the restful Neutron's lips to twitch into a lopsided smile. She felt his heartbeat under her hand as it stopped on his chest. He was so relaxed... he was smiling.   
  
She sighed and lifted her head, resting it in her palm. If he only knew...   
  
If he knew how her heartbeat beat in tune with his and how complete she felt when they were together, sexually or not. Sh leaned forward and placed a butterfly light kiss on his lips.   
  
If he knew how she loved him so.   
  
How he had taken control of her mind and soul and her entire world.   
  
she rose from the bed, the blanket falling from her a dainty body.   
  
If he knew how much it hurt and destroyed her that he would attempt at taking back those words.   
  
If he knew how much more it hurt to wake today and know... know he'd be sober and afraid again.   
  
If he knew all this... If only he could know...  
  
he said he'd fix it all. But Cindy knew he was still human, despite his intellect. Humans err. Humans have limitations. What separated them from animals were their emotions and ability to laugh and cry. Besides dolphins, only humans mated for pleasure. Humans were fallible.   
  
James couldn't see his own weaknesses, his own limitations. He wasn't God.   
  
She pulled out a gray sweatshirt.   
  
And still she loved him so damn much! tears fell but she hadn't noticed. She loved everything about him. She loved him so much that she would allow him to continue hurting her like this. Because she knew it made him happy. It was less complicated for him.   
  
But it hurt.  
  
It hurt ten times over every time. She didn't know how long she could take this. Pretending, being what she wasn't.   
  
That's what High School is about. Pretending to be cool and acting out to be the fool. There was enough of that to pretend with him...  
  
James Isaac Neutron, the love of her life and it tore her apart!   
  
James made a noise as he began to rouse from his slumber. She dropped the jeans and wiped her face. She needed a shower.   
  
The water was scolding her but it took her mind off of the pain, the pain that ate at her. She couldn't say goodbye, couldn't watch him leave. She didn't want to hear his excuses, didn't want to hear him take it back...  
  
But he wouldn't make it easy. she knew that as she hear the door open.   
  
She should have locked it.   
  
She cleared her throat. "Jimmy?" she asked her voice sounding strange even to her.   
  
"Cindy, are you okay?"  
  
She sniffled. "Of course! you just have a nasty tendency of keeping me up at night." she tried to sound teasing but it fell flat. "Uh, you go ahead to school. Nick picks me and Libby up so-"  
  
"No. I'm taking you to school." he opened the shower curtains and met her eyes. They stood there a moment, frozen in time for what felt eternity.   
  
that damn silence.   
  
Then he spoke.   
  
"Cindy... I need you." he said softly. He reached out and touched her face. "I-... I-" eh tried but she shook her head. he narrowed his eyes at her to keep her from speaking. "I love you... I don't want to hurt you... I want to... I want to fix us." he pressed h is forehead against hers and stepped into the shower. Cindy felt his muscles tense and a hiss as the hot water impacted his bare skin.   
  
She lost her breath. He had such power over her. He lifted her face. His arms wrapped around her waist and she leaned into him, shocked.  
  
This was too perfect.   
  
She was dreaming, she knew she was but it felt so real... and the water really was hot...   
  
"I can fix us, I can fix anything." he buried his face in her neck. "But I need help."  
  
Jimmy? Asking for help? She choked back a sob.   
  
His voice was breaking as he spoke. "I need you, I need you to be there for me. I need your support. I need you more then breath and food. You complete me."  
  
He was voicing all she held dear. she needed him as well, more then anything else.   
  
"i'm so sorry. I don't want to you to cry..." he murmured.   
  
"Oh James, I'm not crying." she tried. he laughed.   
  
"You're a bad liar." she pulled back with a sniff and went to glare but saw that he too was crying. She smiled and held his face.   
  
"I'll do anything for you. I promise." he bent over and kissed her fiercely, as if she would disappear.   
  
She guessed she wasn't the only one who thought this was surreal.   
  
After that there was no question.  
  
No Nick, no facades or illusions. It was all real, as real as the burning water pouring over their bodies.   
  
- - -   
  
Eyes fell on them.  
  
Jimmy and Cindy held hands. His cerulean eyes turned to he,a smirk on his lips. She winked.   
  
James wore a burgundy and beige plaid shirt over a Linkin Park T-shirt and loose black pants. Cindy wore a black halter top with an open denim jacket and a denim skirt. Her opaque black shades were pulling back her blonde curls that were loose and free.   
  
Yes, the odd pair. She was perfect and blonde and beautiful. Jimmy was smart, punk and geeky. They couldn't care. She got to her locker and lifted her lock with slender perfectly manicured fingers. Jimmy leaned his back against the locker beside them.   
  
"Well?" he asked.   
  
She grinned a feline grin, "Is that, well are you happy everybody has seen us well or well did you speak with Nick well?"   
  
He furrowed his brows a moment then shook his head. "Well as in what do you have planned for today." he said, turning onto his side to look at her. He watched her as she opened her locker and sifted through her stuff. She pulled out pictures of herself and Nick, tossing them to the floor.   
  
"Ugh, why didn't anyone tell me I looked so fake around him?" she said in disgust. James chuckled. She looked at him and smiled. "As for today..." she grabbed his shirt and pulled him close, their noses grazing. 'It's all yours, love."  
  
"Mmm," he murmured as he slid his hand up her face and into her hair. Their lips connected. Kissing felt so natural to them now.   
  
"What the Fuck!" they heard behind them. The two jumped apart.   
  
They recognized the voice immediately. James frowned but Cindy smirked. "Ah, Nicky-poo!" she teased in an overly sweet voice. Jimmy twitched. That as annoying.   
  
Nick growled and slammed Cindy's door. She didn't flinch. "What the hell are you and Queer-tron doing?!" he hissed, his silk black bangs falling flawlessly into his face.   
  
Libby was across from them, leaning against her locker. her cocoa arms were folded across her chest, a smirk on her full lips.   
  
He smiled and waved silently to her. She nodded and winked.   
  
Nick turned to Jimmy. He grabbed him by his collar and lifted him, pulling back a fist. James met his black eyes with an ice cool cerulean gaze. Nick hesitated. That was enough. James kicked him back with both feet.   
  
He wasn't a third grader anymore. He wouldn't allow anyone to touch him and get away with it. Nick stumbled back as a couple of laughs and shocked gasps radiated around him. He narrowed his eyes. "You're mince meat."  
  
Cindy came and stood between them, her arms crossed over her chest. "Nick, you're so fake you smell like plastic." Cindy hissed. "I don't know what I saw in you."   
  
"You saw the Varsity Jacket, Cind." Libby said but she sounded light and Jimmy knew she was on her best friend's side. He was glad Libby was a true friend to Cindy and him both.   
  
He saw Sheen walk up, confused. Nick's eyes seemed to bulge. "Why you stupid bitch!" he hissed.   
  
"Me? Stupid? Who's the one who can barely read?" she snapped.   
  
That was the last straw. No one expected it and it shocked the whole crowd.   
  
It was loud and impacted completely.   
  
Nick slapped Cindy.  
  
Before anyone could breathe, Jimmy was on top of Nick. It was fats and unpredictable. Fists flying, insults called. Soon Sheen came into the picture and the rest of the basketball team.   
  
All hell had broken loose...  
  
- - -   
  
Waddya think? Im working really hard on updating as consistently as possible. 


	5. Peace Just Out Of Reach

Thanks everyone who reviewed! You are my muses!  
  
As to the flamers, yes, this is a mature story line. But thats what I was aiming for. this is James Neutron as a teen, a real teen with real problems.  
  
Life for a genius cant be perfect, no matter how hard you try.  
  
I am working on a thank you list for all my reviewers so please leave a signature or a name!! It'll be put up as either the sixth or seventh chapter so hurry up and review - 53 people IS a long list  
  
I hope you enjoy number 5!!  
  
Jimmy felt horrible. His head hurt, his eyes was swollen and he was sure his ribs were at the least fractured!!!  
  
Or it felt like it.  
  
Nick was just as bad with a broken nose, a gash on his head from impacting the floor, not too deep but deep enough, and a dislocated shoulder.  
  
He was furious. The next Basketball game was cancelled and the whole team was suspended.  
  
Nick was being slapped with a restraining order and a harassment suit by Cindy. He was, after all, 18, despite him being in the same grade as Jimmy and Cindy. That made him legally bound by the laws of domestic violence.  
  
Thinking hurt.  
  
Jimmy sat in the nurse's office, Cindy holding an ice pack to her right cheek. He frowned.  
  
He prayed he'd never hit her like that.  
  
He prayed he would be good to her.  
  
Because Lord knew he hated Nick for the way he hit her. No one, absolutely no one, deserved that.  
  
"You ok Cind?" he asked softly.  
  
She nodded, offering him a reassuring smile. Her cheek was bruised with a Nick sized hand print.  
  
"I'm sorry...." he whispered. She reached over to touch his face, about to say something when Judy and Hugh entered.  
  
"James!!!" Judy exclaimed and rushed to her son's side. "Oh my are you all right?"  
  
"Im fine, mom." Jimmy replied with a weak smile. Cindy shifted uncomfortably. James turned to her as Judy did.  
  
"Oh dear..." Judy came oevr and embraced her, eyes full of tears. "How could he... i thought he was such a good young man." She embraced CIndy and held her maternally. Cindy smiled and closed her eyes.  
  
Her mother was away so she took in all the maternal care Judith had to offer.  
  
James sighed. "He was having a bad day, mom." he said, shifting in place.  
  
"I wonder why, Jimbo?" Hugh asked, a weak smile on his face as he sat with Jimmy. Jimmy grinned and CIndy blushed as she smiled.  
  
"Because Cindy and I..."  
  
"Are an item." Cindy finsihed proudly. James blushed as Hugh elbowed him.  
  
"You dog! I thought you'd ended up walking up the down staircase, if you know what I mean."  
  
Cindy giggled as James rolled his eyes. "Daad!" he said in exasperation.  
  
This felt nice. Warm.  
  
His family.  
  
And Cindy.  
  
---  
  
It was easy for Jimmy to forget his mother was sick. First of all, she did her best not to show it. And Cindy was so... time consuming?  
  
The were sexually active but they spent most of their time hanging out, talking, enjoying each other at his house or lab. Just being a typcial couple.  
  
But then again, all good things come to an end, right?  
  
It was December, cold. Too cold for Judy. She fell too ill. And landed in the hospital.  
  
James stood in the waiting room, shocked.  
  
How could he not notice she was weakening? That she was getting more and more ill?  
  
He closed his eyes. 'Mother....' She was everything to him. The only one who understood him... as a child, when everyone... excluded him.  
  
He combed his fingers through his matted hair. "Where the fuck is dad..." he muttered, pacing. Clarabelle sat on Cindy's lap. the girl curled up, Jimmy's burgundy flannel shirt covering her. Her reddish brown hair in a ponytail, her cerulean eyes half lidded.  
  
Cindy held her, stroking her hair, frowning at Jimmy, who seemed to withdraw from her again. An ornament hung low to rest on her bosoms, a small silver one with a white jewel.  
  
Jimmy gave it to her.  
  
She never removed it. She seemed to loose a glow, one that had been so vibrant since finally finding contentment with Jimmy. Her hair seemed darker, no longer the cascading rays of sun...  
  
"Jimmy... this is very hard for him to-"  
  
"I bet he's off drinking himself to an early grave." jimmy hissed. Clare sniffled, curling up.  
  
"Jimmy... is mommy gonna.... die?" she whispered. James gasped and dropped to his knees before her, turning her to face him, stroking her cheek.  
  
Cindy felt a pang in her chest at the small voice... so lost without her mother.  
  
"No, babe... mommy will be just fine. I'll... I'll find a cure, I'll save her... I..." He smiled weakly. "i can fix anything.  
  
"Promise?" she whispered, staring hopefully.  
  
Cindy closed her eyes. 'Careful... don't make empty promises, Jimmy...' she thought softly. "Jimmy, don't-"  
  
Jimmy stood up and glared at her. "I will... " she gasped at his stern voice and he winced, lifting his hands. "Cindy... I will... I won't let mom die..." he said softly, tears streaming from his face.  
  
She closed her eyes and held Clarabelle close.  
  
"You're not God, Jimmy... " she murmured.  
  
He clenched his fist. "who cares about God! God has no power, I am smarter then God! I can save my mom! I know I can!" And he stormed away.  
  
Clarabelle began to cry, confused, knowing only that there was pain and sadness and negativity in the air.  
  
Cindy began to cry as well. Because she knew that Jimmy was loosing it... loosing grip.  
  
He refused to be defeated by nature. But Cindy felt it, in her gut.... Judy would die, she had to... it was her time. Even Judith said it was time. It was a fact to be accepted.  
  
Not fought.  
  
But jimmy couldn't see that. He only saw rage.  
  
"Jimmy..."  
  
- - -  
  
I know its been so damn long. Bows at your mercy Forgive me... ples forgive me!!!  
  
I'm having difficulty with uploading my work to ff net And thank you, redgem270.... you inspired me to open this thing back up again. Your review was very inspiring!! I read your bio, you like alot of what I do!! X3 Perhaps we can be pals? Im reading soem of your work ((you have os many)  
Why dont you actually read my new TT fic!! ((If it shows, teh bugger....)) 


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